I was constructed for you and you were molded for me.

I am officially a high school senior.

Nothing could've gone more perfectly. I'm going to be in all of the classes I want to be. Once I make all the necessary changes, I will have at least half of my classes with Lauren. I have at least one class with all of my closest friends, and that's excluding symphonic band. My parking spot is ideal in the sense that I'm still able to walk outside, not in the parking lot. I love driving Fitzwilliam to and from school. I thought I was going to have insane amounts of scheduling problems, but I'm in everything I need.

It's nearly infallible.

Even though it's the last "planned year" of my life (as Lauren put it), I'm not worried. I believe there is a reason for everything and that my future is already set in stone and I just don't know it. I'm going to stay in touch with the people that mean the most to me. Not only that, but I'm going to make time to see them, wherever I may go. I'm going to be happy, whatever I end up doing, and this is just the beginning.

The only problem now? I'm definitely procrastinating college stuff in a way that would make Bella Swan proud. And there's something in my eye....

Here's to my last year of high school.

As I round your corner, I am nervous that you won't be my lover.

Talk about pulling an Alice.
The lyrics I used at the end of my last post is the song that I now identify with the whole series. I'm just too cool for my own good.

I don't really know what to do with my life right now. I thrive for Twilight. At least the movie is coming out 3 FRIGGIN WEEKS EARLIER. Thank you, Warner Bros. I'm eternally grateful. But Summit is so much better.

Also, reality has come crashing down on me. Hard to ignore anyways, with the start of marching band and what not. I'm trying to focus on things that need to be done or things that just make me happy, no matter the circumstances. Some old interests have been ignited once again (more like one), so that helps as well.

I really wish there was a way I could combine elements from different times of my life. What I wouldn't give to go back several years and bring some of those prospects back to the present time.

It bothers me that people can change so drastically. I can't stand it.

I don't even know what I'm saying here.

Eternity can wait a while.

Tomorrow is all that I've been waiting for since February.
For the moment, I guess I lied in my last post.

"The dawn is breaking, a light shining through."

I can't grasp it yet.

Here we go:

I've never before had any real interest in a book other than Harry Potter. It was all I cared about, with the occassional troubled teen or Mitch Albom book. This is nothing like before. I was obsessed with Harry Potter. I'm addicted to Twilight.

I knew the book existed. I had no idea what it was about. I didn't even know the title. Just the cover art. Woo, an apple. Big deal.

That was tenth grade.

In eleventh grade, I noticed a girl at school always had the book with her. I recognized the cover again. She read it every day so I assumed it had to be decent. Also, Lauren was reading it, but the only information she told me that I retained was that the kid who played Cedric Diggory in HP was starring in the movie.

I became curious and decided to get some information on it. If I recall correctly, I did a search on Google and chose Wikipedia. Yes, it gave the whole plot away, but it didn't mean anything to me at the time. All I knew was that I needed this book, and I needed it now. Despite the fact that it was 8:00 at night, I went to Borders. I began reading immediately. I read the entire next day and again by 8:00, when I knew I was in danger of finishing, I begged to go to Borders to buy the sequels.

I finished the first book, completely in love, and couldn't stop myself from reading the second, so around midnight, I divulged myself in New Moon.

Chapter three. I freaked. I couldn't go to bed in that state of mind. It was like my own heart had been broken. So I began to read until there was hope again. It never came. I read until four in the morning, then I gave up.

The next day I was to visit my grandma. I had no recollection of what I had read the previous night except for chapter three. That was all that mattered. Jacob Black didn't matter. Nothing did. I wasn't allowed to read either. I was in public, being forced to shop, and too busy. When I arrived back at my grandma's, I read. I read and read. Finally, there was a glint of hope. But I knew I would finish that night and I didn't have the third book with me. I stopped reading and began looking up every bit of info I could find on the internet that was related. It took me a few hours.

Eventually, I had to read again. Ravaging through roads in Volterra, fighting through red-covered crowds and a clock tower, hope was finally restored to a whole. In the words of J.K. Rowling, "all was well."

The next day, I began Eclipse. I became much more so attached than I would've thought possible. After a few school days of reading the third book, I finished, and that is when I found Lauren.

She's the Alice to my Bella. I knew how strong our friendship was already, but now it was applied to new terms. We've become even closer. Never will there be another like Lauren Ashley Rogers.

I spread my knowledge. Suddenly, the world of Twilight was revived among my school. I had all my friends reading it. Everyone else became hooked. I somewhat started a revolution.

I've reread the series four times in whole, continually. People have started disliking me for it. I don't care. I'm happy.
I live on the Twilight Lexicon and I thrive for coverage on the movie. I want to marry Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. Kristen Stewart is my favorite actress. Catherine Hardwicke is my favorite director. Stephenie Meyer is my favorite author. And my favorite book series is Twilight.

Tomorrow, with the release of the fourth book, is somewhat an end of an era in my life. But believe me, until my Edward Cullen comes along, I'll be just as in love as I was on February 29th.

"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on, they never die, that's how you and I will be."

Time passes.

Just like Lauren, who has the most awesome blogsport ever, I decided to give this a try. I have a Xanga. I have a Myspace. I have a Facebook. Do I actually use the blogging aspects of any? Not so much. This one is plain, simple, and boring. I like it.

The title of this page actually has a sad origin. As of this year, I've had quite the more optimistic persona, so it really doesn't fit. Why did I use it, then? Because it's fact and it's undeniably true.

The other day I was driving around with Lauren and I realized exactly how old I am. I remember being a freshman and thinking about my senior friends driving around and getting together whenever they want. Being more in control of their lives. That's me now. I'm going to be a senior and by this time next year, I'll be done with high school. I'm not scared like mostly everyone else. I'm ready to move on. But it's kind of sad to see how fast time has gone and that things won't always be this easy. I need to take advantage of it.

I have nothing to say for the moment because today was a boring day.

For the past few months, I've been happy to ignore reality, but right when it's least likely that I'll get it back, I'm craving it.